"I did not. I was beamed out while the disruptor was firing... And then I lied to my Commander and said firing had not been my intention."

He was ashamed of this. Deeply so, and it was a strain to keep working on this memory. "You once asked me if I ever expressed a need for violence beyond the need to defend myself. I confirmed this to be five times... This is the one time that I actively wanted an individual dead."